2017; my year of a thousand tears

Finally, 2017 has come to an end.

A year in which I have struggled, a culmination of a dozen endings with no new beginnings, just an expanse of limbo and sadness whilst trying to work out what is the meaning of my life and my next steps forward. Being alone a lot of the year has meant a long hard look at myself and my flaws, as well as my strengths which I had started to forget existed.

Recently, our family home of over 10 years was sold and in a way this has acted as a form of release for me. Although there were many happy memories there, I realise I had ended up associating it with how I felt. The house was no longer a home and almost a prison for me and my thoughts, as well as the many ghosts reminding me of what was gone and never coming back.

I am now writing this from a position where the fog has cleared, and I can feel my sense of Self coming back. In part, I attribute this to you, my blog and my way of allowing myself to feel in control and productive at a time when basically everything in my life was a in free fall. For those who may read my ramblings, thank you for taking the time to do so. I really appreciate your interest in my words. I wish you the happiest of times for 2018, and know that for me at least the only way is up, so I am hopeful. Happy New Year to you and your families, and all my love.

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